The Noble Steed

Well….. What can I say? I was not the bread winner then, I was not even a rank winner in my class. At least then my dad would have considered buying me a bike! But for now I had to settle with my very own, brand new, 50 CC TVS champ a glorified version of the TVS 50. Please do not mistake me; I’ve got nothing against the Champ. I have shared a lot of good and bad memories with it too. The champ does just the thing it was made to – transport people. But when there is an overflow of testosterone flowing in your body and when you are reaching the ecstatic state of puberty, you want something that would do a lot more than just transporting. It has to turn a few “beautiful” heads. I mean if there’s something more than the heavenly Ganja to take a guy to dizzying highs; it would be the lovely look of a lovely lady. And there I was, just transporting myself ;-( but the suffering was not over for me. It is true that one often meets his destiny in the path he takes to avoid it. Well for me, every morning and evening when I was going to and coming from school I had a glimpse of something beautiful, something more beautiful than the clear waters of the Bahamas, than the eyes of Aishwarya Rai, than the never ending blue yonder….. To me that metallic blue coloured Hero Honda CBZ was the most beautiful of them all. Yes, for the very first time I had fallen in love with something which did not have a heart to give to. Hmmmmm, all is fair in love n war. But this was a love in which the war was between my dream and reality. The reality – 10^th standard student with a TVS Champ; my dream – owning a Rs. 50,000 CBZ. Heart wrenching! It sounds like the love story in the movies, rich gal, and very very poor boy. The case was the same. I had very little chances to win the gal (CBZ) in my real life. But, little did I know….. I had reached the 12^th grade, life had changed a little bit, I had become the school pupil leader ;-) my public speaking skills had developed ten folds. I was the star of the school! But with the same TVS champ ;-( no luck with my blue beauty yet. Diwali arrived….. The festival of lights, of colours, the festival in which I got to do my favourite things, eat mutton all day long, watch new tamil flicks on TV, wear band new chaka chak new dresses, burst free crackers, hang around with friends. Yup, hanging around with friends was the best part of it ;-) and that Diwali night was going to be one of the most memorable and painful ones for me. It all started when we assembled at Vikky’s place. What should I say about Vikky, born with a silver spoon in his mouth but really has a heart of gold (Vikky you owe me one for this ;-) that was the official spot for our gang to gather. Guys were out bursting some heavy crackers, lighting the rockets when they were held in the other guy’s hand, planting bombs on each others feet. It was a mini war. I, the usual “shy” guy just kept aside with just admiring the beautiful colours the crackers made when they went way up and lit up our beautiful Madurai sky and of course I was in my senses to run to save my hair when there was a mis fire and the burning debris came towards us. As I said Diwali was too much fun. Now, amidst all this, all that smoke, I saw my metallic blue beauty beautifully strolling towards me. It was so romantic…. Suddenly the smoke filled street looked like a beautiful misty flower studded road of kodaikanal. Was it real? Was I dreaming? Was I drunk? Oops sorry I didn’t booze during those days. It was real, my friend Ilango arrived with his brother’s CBZ studded with alloy wheels. It looked like Monica belluci had just returned after a fruit facial…. Hmmmmm yummy (the bike) was beautiful! I went near it, greeted Ilango and for the very first time laid my hands on this heavenly beauty….. The experience was way beyond mentioning in words. Like I said, being the School pupil leader had its own perks. I asked Ilango for a test drive, hell as if I was gonna book this bike the next week! He more than willingly gave it to me. My other friend S. Karthi tagged along with me and we set out on our test drive. Karthi was in a white dhoti and knee long Bermudas underneath that, aversion of risk I would say. He had now tied his lungi above his knees and was riding the bike like a true Maduraite and I was right behind him riding the pillion. The deal was that he ll ride the bike to his aunt’s home and on the way back I could test drive it. Fair enough, after a brief stint at his aunt’s place, I got my moment of glory. I felt that I was fulfilling my destiny. I was going to ride my blue beauty! I have to admit….. I had never driven a bike which was more than 100 CC and topping that I had never driven a CBZ with front disc brakes. Well this baby can race from 0 to 60 in 60 secs (great during those times) and bring you to a stand still when you hit those brakes (atleast that was what the advertisements said) when I started riding the bike I had my heart jump to my throat when I saw that the gear lever had broken. It had only the front portion; I thought that I had broken the back one. I thought I would be in a very bad position when I return my friend’s bike! What would I say to my all trusting friend Ilango?! Then Karthi from the pillion brought me back to my senses that it was “made” to have a single lever. We were supposed to change the gears by slipping our feet into the lever and lifting it up. Super kool! ;-) My drive began, with me testing the disc brakes and praising this machine to be the greatest invention of mankind. I felt like the guy from the TV show “Street hawk”. I was always inspired by this connection of “man and machine”. Understanding it is one thing but implementing it on a bike that you have never ridden before and especially when it is a borrowed bike, is something only kids did. And beyond the shadow of a doubt, I was a kid. A kid who has got a new toy to play with. Wow, the throttle…. The speed, it was enchanting. The best thing that a biker feels when riding his machine is the speed. And way before the invention of the speedometer, I feel that speed was measured by the force of the wind in your face. I loved the way the wind was getting into my eyes and making it all blurry. Yup you mere mortals along the roadside! Make way for the knight in his steed! I had to take a turn and I took it all the more gracefully (I didn’t know that it ll be a turning point in my life) by now, my friend Ro joined me with his black CBZ. He was a pro in riding it and raised the throttle, jus kiddin to overtake me. Not tonight my friend! I pumped all my adrenaline to my wrist and with one heavy turn of the throttle I blasted in front of him. He was left behind… uh ha ha ha but later I realized that he had slowed down for an upcoming turn. I never knew that the bike would take me so fast to the turn (hm 0-60!) now it was time for me to slow down to take the turn. Now normally a guy riding a TVS champ with normal brakes would squeeze both the brakes so hard as if he was juicing lime in a squeezer and slow down. I did exactly that (little did I know). The disk brakes worked way too perfectly! The front wheel stopped turning and as per the Newton’s 1st law, a body continues to be in motion or in a state of rest until and unless acted upon by an external force and this is called inertia. Well…. What can I say “Newton was a GENIUS!” Even though the wheel stopped turning, they continued to skid. I cursed my situation and the next thing I remember was the whole world spinning around me, with me occasionally kissing the tar road so passionately like we were a couple meeting after years and years of separation. I was rolling in the middle of the road and saw my dhoti clad friend also rolling along side me. I got up with the same speed with which I was rolling. I thanked god that I was able to stand. But, my face was numb. I saw the bike safely parked in a horizontal position in a mound of sand along the turn. I ran there to lift the bike. It was too heavy for me. My hands failed me. By now my dhoti friend was running towards me. When he came near me, I was crying loud that I had wrecked my friend’s bike. I was least bothered about what had happened to me. By now my friend was analyzing my face for any irreparable damages. A few seconds later he jumped back to find his dhoti drenched in blood. He was scared to the core. He was making sure that everything was in place in his body ;-) later he looked at me as if he was staring at Jason from Friday the 13^th. His dhoti was painted red from the blood dripping from my face. By now my friend Ro had “Pro”fully “disc braked” his bike and came to my rescue. Bala, the pillion rider got down and made me cling to Ro. I was crying now, not because of the pain but because of the horror which had just occurred. I thought, “why me?” this was supposed to be a beautiful date with my blue beauty but here I was returning like a warrior beaten to pulp. I was admitted in a hospital. This is where horror stopped and handed over the job to pain. The next few hours went by, with my mom crying, with my friends consoling her, me being taken for an x ray. When I went back home, pain was working overtime like it was its appraisal season. And to add to my already delighted state, the local cable TV was playing a scene from MI 2 in which Tom Cruise cruises in his Liter class bike (1000 CC) and kicks all bad arses. I wished Tom Cruise would take a turn now and a 18 wheeler truck would smash him! Well that movie ended but my pain did not. In the next few months I had to face such unbearable pain and such extremely embarrassing situations that I even pleaded to my parents to end my life. I guess God tests only those who are worthy. Well, to me everyday was a test. There came this day, when my left hand had swollen to extreme proportions because of internal infections and the puss had to be pressed out inorder for it to heal. My doctor uncle advised for an anesthesia for the process as it would make me skip the painful process. And in those very first tastes of feeling high (due to the anesthesia) I sweared to the doctors around that someday I would ride that steed (CBZ) with the grace of knight! After nearly 3 and half years, I was with my friend Rajesh, in a second hand bike shop to get a bike for me. Yup, dad had agreed to get me bike! Wonderful! You may think but that period was one of the most gloomy and darkest periods of my life…… I had flunked in two math papers and had to wait a year to do something useful with my life. I felt that I was left way behind in the race of life. We were waiting for a bike that the shop owner had promised we would be interested in. There in that dimly lit road came a black coloured bike with a fully customized look. It was a CBZ! Complete with alloy wheels and a custom black and silver paint job. I was breathless, Rajesh was grinning at me. May be he was thinking “You lucky bastard!” ;- ) yup this was the best CBZ we had ever seen. And the best part was yet to come. It was fitted with a customized silencer and from it came a flame which blasted for nearly 3 inches away from the bike. It was a blue flame. I felt that my blue beauty’s soul was filled in this black machine and it had taken a new avatar for this noble knight of it. At that point of time, I felt as if some one proudly announced, “Sir. Vijay today is the day you will be knighted and this is the noble steed which would serve you in all your future endeavors and battles…..” I accepted it with all thy pride and I finally understood what a “Man and machine” relation stands for. And so facing all the new battles with courage and bravery the knight and his noble steed continue on their journey called life…..

With luv,

Vijay

The eve before Intrams.....

PSG Tech, CBE, Hmmmmm it was a different identity all together. Life was good, 3^rd year of college. Juniors and sub juniors to abide by your will, a girl to flirt, oh yeah, life was great! It was the eve before INTRAMS, the intra college competition at our college (Plz do read Mr. Intrams b4 thiz). And college fests really were a magical time. For one, you see your college in a festive mood all dressed up like a beautiful blushing bride, pretty loud music was being pumped out of pumped up speakers, and the best part was when you were INCHARGE of the stage design and event management committee. Oh yeah, there was the real fun, you could boss people around, command respect and stuff, ah it was very addictive to us. But never did we once use it in the wrong way, trust me except for the special privileges given to a few, we were clean. I had enrolled for this Mr. Character and Personality competition. I and my friend Rajesh were on our way to college from the hostel. Now Mr. Rajesh, was the dude ;-), guys he was a real babe magnet. But he is a real warm person by heart. He was different from those other filthy guys who used to call themselves as dudes. Now, if you are a babe magnet and really different from the rest of those in your category, you are definitely sure of attracting some serious attention. Hmmmmm, and so did he, ah at times I was jealous of this guy! (I still am) but still he’s my very best friend. My soul mate infact and who knew that he ll help me recognize my true love. Now coming back to our story, we were on our way to the college when suddenly Rajesh’s phone rang. He answered and there were these gals on the other side teasing and mocking him. He tried to ask who they were but our mystery callers were not ready to reveal who they were. Hmmm, now I did not know why he did that but gave his phone to me and said that “plz get rid of them yaarrrrrr” (hmmm thanks to my reputation of scaring gals around, come on what do I look like, a rapist?!). I thought, right away your royal dudeness. No, really these kind of chances seldom come (to talk to a set of gals) and moreover I was in a very good mood. I got his phone and dialed the number from which the last call had come. “Someone” picked up the call and there were no gang of gals but a single feminine voice, hm! So long for my luck,

Me: Hello….. Is this Pepsi Uma? (A famous dial in a song show host in TN)

Other side: Hello….. Hello…… (And, the line got cut!)

Now, the voice was a bit familiar but my very good friend here reassured me that it was nobody he or I knew. Hmmmmm, I called again,

Me: Hello, Pepsi Uma!, can u plzzzzzz play this song for me plzzzzzz..

OTS: Of course… Of course and laughter…. (it really seemed a little familiar, but how on earth could I doubt my friend)

Me: “Meh kaun banega crorepati se Amitabh Bachchan bhol raha hun”

OTS: Laughs out loud……. ;-)

Now, it’s time to go for the kill!

Me: (Gathering all my boldness and at the peak of my good mood….) Hi… if you are free tomorrow shall we go for a movie plzzzzzz?!

OTS: (……. Total silence……..) We ll see about that in the class tomorrow!

What da ****!!!!!!, I recognized this voice…. It was Priyadarsini Swaminathan, from my class, the gal whom I have not even spoken once and here I am in a situation (thanks to my FRIEND!) asking her out for a movie. What blunder have I done, I’m finished, would she complain to the head of the dept? ;-( would she call her parents and would her dad abuse me and file a case on me for asking her gal out? ;-( No no no, I was going too far thinking about it. Before I could recover from the shock, there was Mr. Rajesh, grinning from ear to ear, giving those looks like, “You are dead meat, boy!, uh ha ha ha” (I could literally hear him laugh in his mind). He just said, “Ho…. ho…. Going for a movie eh?” and for the next 2.5 kms, till we reached our fagging spot, he teased me by all kinds he could, starting from, “you both make a good pair”, to how our newborn baby would look! I pleaded to him, “Rajesh plz, let this be between us”, he said, “what!? (He was so shocked as if I had asked him a billion Euros!) The next few hours went by, with him blackmailing me, teasing me..... And thank God! he was summoned by seniors for a designing work or something. By the time I reached my room, the forest fire had spread along with the latest news, “Vijay asks Priya out for a movie!” (Yeah yeah how sensational) Sometimes I wonder is light really the fastest thing in existence? Hmmmmm if only rumor was a thing, it would have bet the crap outta light! I thought, “okay, you ve committed a blunder, lets set things right tomorrow by apologizing to her”. Yeah, I ll do it the first thing after my Intrams stunt. The next day I won that competition and the weekend arrived. Hmmmmm, I thought guys would have by now forgotten it and I went to the class as usual. I was wrong! People started shouting movie names around, asking each other out for movies (just to mock me) and by now her friends had started teasing her too. They called out her name deliberately whenever I used to enter the class, place my record note above her’s and ultimately people even changed her name as “Mrs. Intrams” in their mobiles. Now, this was getting way out of hands. Then one normal day we had gone for a movie together (our whole class). People were just done mocking and teasing us for the same colour dress we had worn that day (coincidences as I say are real funny things) The movie was Ghajini (the tamil version, a beautiful love story) and in the interval, a guy in our class got up and challenged the both of us to prove that we are “not in love!”. What?! I have heard of people “proving their love”, but, how on earth am I gonna prove that I’m not in love with this gal?! The solution arrived shortly. We were supposed to look each other into our eyes for 2 mins continuously without looking away. Oh, yeah I would have pulled out the eyes of the guy who suggested this stupid idea and then looked at it for hours together but looking into a gal’s eye, impossible man ;-( I rejected the idea and looked away, as far away in the opposite direction as possible but Miss. Priya was too brave and hell bent on proving that she was not in love with me and accepted the challenge and started staring at me, not my eyes but just at me and not even 2 secs into the challenge, she backed out blushing, smiling and looking away. What?! She blushed?! I thought, “What’s happening here, is a movie being played on the screen or in my life?” And after that I thought really hard about why did she look away? Why, during the movie’s interval, did I hide the cigarette in front of her? Why did I do that? I wondered, really hard, all night, all through out the next day and then….. for the first time, I started having a good look at Priya. Well, what could I say………. I really liked the way she smiled. The next day I liked the way she spoke to her friends and really wished that, if only I was her friend ;-( the day after that my eyes scanned for her in my class, without my friends noticing it. My days became very beautiful as I was seeing her all day and my all ready dreamy nights became more colourful………. And one fine night, 13^th November 2005 ;-) to be exact, I got a msg from someone, “Goodnight…….. Sweet dreams” and I had a billion dollar smile already adorning my face when I saw the number from which the msg had come…….. I pinched myself to make sure I was not dreaming. How can this happen? Was it addressed to someone else? I thought, come on yaar, it’s just a “Goodnight” msg. But, to me it was like, “my dear most Vijay, I have msg ed you. Now be a man and reply me….” Or did she really mis sent the msg? What do I do now? What can a guy who really wants to be friends with a gal do? I knew that one wrong msg would blow up all the chances I had. Hmmmmm, after thinking hard, I sent one of the most stupid replies of my life! “What suddenly goodnight!” Yup, I did it deliberately….. somehow I felt that she would reply me, somehow I felt that she had not mis sent this msg to me and somehow in the depths of my heart I was developing a corner for her, which was so soft that it could be shattered by the beep of a single wrongly addressed msg from her………… and my Priya did not disappoint me ;-)

With luv,

Vijay

Newyork nagaram.....

It’s not about the city of New York but about a beautiful song by our very own A.R.Rahman. It’s true that love brings a lot of new feelings along with it, like loneliness, possessiveness etc etc. But out of these the former is a heart wrenching and drenching feeling. Yup my friends, though you have been only months old in your true love (if you really feel so), the feeling of separation is excruciating. Not that you have been separated forever and ever. It’s more like, though she stays with her parents, miles away from you, there is a feeling that you would get a chance to see her when she crosses your path to go to her college, might see her, talk to her during her lunch, her free classes. And the feeling gets worse when you have nothing else to do except to sit on your bum and prepare for all those Mba exams, coz you ve missed the bus because of your arrears. Yup, life gets difficult when she goes hundreds of miles away from you. You could not see her, could not talk to her. The feeling gets real excruciating. This song beautifully portrays our very own Surya missing his wife Jo, on his official trip to New York. And to add to this there are A.R’s beautiful voice and soul drenching music. My friends, it had made me cry innumerable times. “Falling in Love”, its true, it’s known as “falling” because you have no control when you are in love. You are bound to do things you never even dreamed of or mocked people doing it. Finally, I had called her and she picked up the call. Her cousins were among her. Now, its true that you cannot talk to the person you love in those lovable tones and voices when your family is around. So, she started talking about this new song called “New York nagaram” from the yet to be released movie named “Sillu nu oru kadhal”. All she said was, the songs are really good and later during the night when she got the privacy to talk, she told me that the song is really great and she really misses me when hearing it. God, I thought, do you need a song to miss me? Hmmmmm…. That night I heard the song for the first time and my friends…………. It was out of the world….. It was like A.R was crushing my heart through his music. And when your heart is crushed, feelings pour out of it in the form of tears from the most visible part of your body….. From the same part that gives you vision. The next day I called her up and did something I had only done after a heavy booze session…… I cried to her, I pleaded her to return as soon as possible as I miss her. There’s no shame in this my friends. I was maturing in love. True love was laying it’s foundation in me. It’s not necessary to be Surya in fancy suits and walkin in flower studded streets of some city other than New York, and singing about his loneliness in New York. It’s good enough to be some guy with a heart that has been given to someone truly worth it. You might ask, “how da hell can you give your heart to some one?!” my friends you can, because when you truly love someone, you give them the right to care for you, to hurt you, to love you. And all these feelings are supposed to affect that one imaginative part of your body some where in the area of the organ that pumps blood throughout your body, the heart. Because it does not only pump the blood throughout but along with it, it carries all the love, and stuff the other person has for you. Now now I am not getting all senti and stuff but that’s the truth. My friends when you fall in love………. You fall through all the sad and beautiful happy feelings mixed together, into a pool of mixed feelings you go. You might feel that you are drowned but in time you breathe it in, get adapted to it, you evolve……….. And my friends somewhere in the year of 2006, I was evolving…………..

With luv,

Vijay

MR.INTRAMS

It was sometime in September. I don remember the date exactly. But it was sure fun time for me. I was flirting with a gal in another department, was not committed to her of course but sure did have my highs whenever I talked to her. Come onnn! It was my third year in college and I was still single. Hmmmmmm….. Its not that I was Mr. Ugly duckling (Though my inner most inferiority complex feels that I am) or I was wrongly attracted to my fellow mates. It’s just that I didn’t have the guts to talk to gals. Though odd it may sound but that’s a fact for almost 85% of the South Indian boys, especially the guys from the REAL SOUTH. So, after being achieved something commendable (talking to a gal, of course) I was still void of really impressing her. It was the time of our intra college fest called INTRAMS. Yup! And we guys from 3 rd year Bsc CT were active participants of the Student’s Union (Hell we designed the first stunning SU logo). And due to these reasons and peer pressures and a lotta pushing and fussing around I entered the competition called Mr. Character And Personality (Mr. Intrams in the real sense). I was naturally good at public speaking, an art inherited from Comrade Veeraraghavan (My good old dad ;-)

Coming to the competition, it involved various rounds from extempore character enacting, situation handling, story writing, and question answering (from judges). But, my dear friends, my single motive there was only one thing ;-), it’s about time I showed that sleazy talking, smooth behaving, filthy money splurging babe magnets, that what a roughened up guy from the South could do what they cannot! (Well…. This was apart from impressing that gal I talked about earlier). So, the competition started and there I was before an 800 odd crowd of students. Well… what could I say being a part of the Student’s Union has its own perks. I did not just enter the stage but I arrived, I appeared, Hell I ENETERED like I owned my college, to the music of “If ya smelllllllll!!!! “. There I had smashed the first ball to the boundary with my entry. And then it began. I remember the great moments of my greatest moment in college. Following are few of the questions and the answers to which the crowd went ga ga,

Q: You are a doctor in a sinking ship. Only one man could be saved from the ship. How would you convince people to save you?

A: If my one life is saved…. Someday I would save a million lives through my service!

( The crowd applauded)

Now, there is this great welcoming for something different. People require something new…. People require something electrifying. I played my part very well that day to do that. And to boost my morale, I got a sms from my very good lady friend (the other department) “Hey u wr ossom!”.

Uh ha ha ha ;-), mission on right track.

Q: Who’s your inspiration?

A: The most ELECTRIFYING man in sports entertainment “Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson”. (Trust me; he’s a man who has undergone a lot of physical and mental sufferings in order to get to where he is right now).

Task: Act like a split personality.

DONE!!!.... Wonderfully (well I guess every dog has its day and that was mine ;-)

Q: What is happiness?

A: I see my happiness in the eyes of the ones who believe me, who love me…. I see my happiness in them (And I pointed to the crowd and that was it!…. I felt the electricity in me what Che Guevara would have felt when he addressed his revolutionaries…. The crowd went mad in cheering me)

It was sealed. Though I was clumsy in the last round of story writing, not that I lacked imagination, it was just because I was a very slow writer.

“And now……. Mr. Character And Personality award for this year goes to my very good friend………………..” and the next words were the best I had ever heard……

“Mr. Vijay Ram Kumar”. Yes, the crowd was there along with me in celebrating my happiness, cheering for me, applauding me. It was a very long time since such a huge number of people were cheering for a no body like me. Oh ho, no more, the era of MR. Intrams had begun in my life ;-) I was the king, top of my world. And when I exited the stage, there were like 50 fully grown guys waiting for me……….. well they were my friends of course, but in boy language if you are really happy for the other guy, then beat him up in order to congratulate him. Yes I was given the worst beating of my life. I did some crowd surfing, people lifted me, dropped me down, literally kicked by butt (they were REALLY HAPPY for me) ya ya it was fun ;-) (Hmmmm the good old days). But the best part was at the end of the crowd, there was someone from the fairer sex (other department) was waiting to congratulate me. Oh ho, and my friends, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! “Hasi toh fasi” ( as Aamir said in RDB) hmmmmmmm, finally a gal (other department) who feels that I was someone, I do not know whether the feeling was boyish or not but it was really good, a sense of accomplishment, I had gained respect, I had won hearts and my friends forget the gal who sent me the sms and congratulated me (other department) at the end of the crowd…… there was someone more important (who was not even in that crowd itself), someone else who would later become the one for me, the most important one for me. Yup, life is interesting because we do not know its turns and twists. And my story had taken a whole new path, which I would describe in some other post. For now, I had really wooed some one and won her heart, someone with whom I had talked in a very weird way for the very first time just the day before my competition, someone so silent that in all the chaos I had even forgotten to thank her.

With luv,

Vijay